I sat appalled last night watching TVO's The Agenda fall on its face as it tried to tackle the problem of attracting tourists to Ontario.

If I was someone planning a vist to Toronto, I'd have cancelled my tickets.

The focus was the culture of Ontario. On hand was a flannelmouthed pol Greg Sorbara, a satrap of the liberal govt, who's doing a study entitled something like Whither Ontario. Sorbara wasted little time showing he knew zero about culture by declaring the Stratford Festival was the greatest Shakespearean festival in North America -- funny it does so little Shakespeare!. In fact for the past twenty five years Stratford has been regarded as summer stock with a repertoire of hick productions of great American musicals.

Sorbara went on to boast that Toronto had the best the greatest restaurants ...before he was cut off. I wish he'd continued and then been questioned by Steve Paikin but alas, Paikin appeared to be on tranks.

Toronto restaurants are very good but to Americans they are also expensive, especially the wine. Restaurants need a break from Sorbara's tax mad government. It's not enough to bounce up and down with enthusiasm -- do something constructive.

Why is it taking so long for new restaurants to get liquor licenses?

Sorbara in full flow gushed about the little restaurants - "nooks" he called them. He is no doubt referring to the ethnic restaurants but Toronto is hardly alone in having scores of ethnic restos. Perhaps Sorbara hasn't heard of the rest of the world.

The show opened with the recent government ad for Ontario. A slick chick promoting sex against a background of water sports. Looks like Miami to me. It is Miami! The current Toronto tourism director was so successful in promoting South Beach as sex'n'sand that the liberal govt begged him to do the same for the glum beauty of Ontario. Wonder if anyone realizes that for most of the year you have to wear a wetsuit to swim in a lake?

For no sane reason The Agenda focussed on culture as a draw. The panel included William Thorsell of the ROM, Matthew Teitel of the AGO and Lisa Rochon, the architecture critic of the Globe. They showed immediately that they knew nothing about tourism. They talked the way self-congratulatory articrats talk -- as if above such vulgar things as money.

Well atleast we might have been told how the institutions which have just received a big whack of cash from Sorbara's government, are doing.

Since the Rom extension, locally called The Excresence, opened have visitors increased or decreased?

Are more people coming to Toronto just to see The Excresence? Or are they staying away because of it?

Is the Excresence paid off or are Excresence debts lingering on the ROM ledger? Considering Rochon smacked down The Excresence, wonder why she didn't ask the question. I seem to remember she recommended pulling the place down.

The AGO has been closed while it's latest do-over runs months behind. What does closing down like this do to its visibility? to its would-be patrons? Or don't people notice because they don't know what's in the collection.

What nobody discussed is whether it's a new building or What's IN a new building that draws tourists?

Fact is neither the ROM or AGO have buzz. They have mushroom exhibits. If I lived in Cleveland, a smaller city than Toronto, I would go not once but again and again to the art museum because it has a superb collection, five amazing Memlings alone and so much more besides. . I can't think of any reason to go to the AGO again because nothing wowed me. The last time I went to the AGO was to the touring exhibition from the Barnes Collection and that was years ago.

What puzzles me further is why David Mirvish and the Toronto Film Festival weren't represented on any panel about culture. Does Ontario not consider theatre and movies culture? Or isn't the culture snobbish enough?

I imagine Mirvish's Broadway tours and the Film Festival's roster of new movies pull far greater audiences than the ROM and AGO combined.

Saddest of all the program was successful only in one thing: it made Ontario culture seem deadly dull.