When dinosaurs roamed the land,eating breakfast out was a cheap thrill. Any self-respecting diner could come across with Blowout patches (pancakes), Blonde with Sand (coffee with cream and sugar} Fry two, let the sun shine (two fried eggs) with Noah’s Boy (ham) and Sweep the Floor (hash) without the soup jockeys (servers) going into the weeds (breaking down). As I ate my austere breakfast of Hug One (oj) birdseed (grapenuts), boiled leaves (tea), on the city (water),and yogurt (a food unknown to the self-respecting diner) I had a sudden urge to go out and have shingle with a shimmy and a shake (buttered toast with jelly) – but where in a city awash with lungo lattes, caffe macchiato, double no fun (nonfat milk and decaf espresso) and thunder thighs(double moccacino)?

My nostalgic wish turned into a seven day breakfast odyssey.

Monday: The Senator is redolent of the old diner, discreet booths (where I am told Eddie Greenspan plots when he’s not in Chicago defending Conrad Black), opens at 8 am weekdays. I go for the Huevos Rancheros ($9.95).The plate contains Ontario farmed Omega 3 eggs flop two( once over lightly)  with spicy black beans, tomato salsa, rather too much raw pepper, chorizo sausage, and strips of soapy avocado artistically arranged. A gringo notion of a chili plate, The **toasted corn muffin is tops, the café au lait little more than tanned moojuice.

Tuesday: Over Easy opens at 7 am and offers breakfast all day. It’s opposite the new ROM extension on Bloor Street but I don’t hold that against it. I’m eating here in memory of Victoria Woods, one of my best friends, who died suddenly just before her 90th birthday and on her way to the opera. She was a regular here. I ask the soup jockeys whether they remember Mrs. Woods. “She hasn’t been in here lately” as if she must be off visiting Australia or somewhere. “No, I’m afraid she died” I reply. So that’s how it is when you go, you haven’t been in lately.  I hang on to Tordie’s mantra “A door closes, another opens” as I order of Eggs Florentine $9.95, the spinach version of Eggs Benedict, the Big mac of the breakfast crowd. Without her, I’m aware that the deadeyes (poached eggs) and hollandaise sauce are vinegary and the Burn the British (toasted English muffin) hard.  The **smoothie ($5.95) is however cheerfully refreshing, blueberries, bananas, kiwi, orange and yogurt. $18


Wednesday. Pain Perdu. I knock off eggs for the French connection. Pain Perdu opens at 8 am (Wed-Sun) and I order a *pain au chocolat which I dip into a bowl of café au lait – more tanned moojuice. I can’t resist buying a **chocolate éclair on the grounds that a perfect chocolate éclair is an endangered species; I don’t put it in the fridge which would dry it out, but leave it on the counter and eat it for lunch. Fantastic. Total$10

Thursday. When my friend Marty said the BEST omelettes were being made at noon, Bathurst and Dupont, I couldn’t resist because a fine omelette is a distant memory in these eggphobic days. I get there at 9 am as the little storefront is opening and Ted Pegg, owner and chef, cooks a***Goat cheese, red pepper, tapenade, basil omelette – baveuse ($8) I hardly know I’m eating it, the eggs are so tender. They come with cowfood (salad) but the Murphys (potatoes) weren’t ready, and a shingle with a shimmy and a shake). The fruit bowl is the freshest. The breakfast menu includes Applegirth Kosher smoked salmon, peameal bacon from Beretta Organic Farms. noon will soon expand to include dinner and a patio. Mr. Pegg is a chef to follow.

Friday: A hotel brekker – what is being offered tourists? I go to Annona (opens daily 6.30am), the restaurant in the Hyatt Regency. For $20 I get a mound of wrecked (scrambled eggs) overcooked with little pieces of cooked lox, capers, breath (chopped onions) – the dish is overwhelmingly salty. Multigrain toast is without the axle grease (butter). The tanned moojuice  is tepid. My companion has a shiny, leathery omelet, squeeze one (glass of OJ) and ok Java. When I want an on the city (water), I have to ask one of the soup jockeys to stop hoovering and get me one.

Saturday: At l0 am on Saturday,Cajun Corner serves the most exquisitely airy life preserver (donut) in the city – a New Orleans’ beignet*** ($3.50 a bag). A little square of pastry is deep fried into a utterly irresistible balloon dredged in icing sugar. For the rest of breakfast I go a couple of blocks to Joy Bistro which has the coolest patio and order French toast ($8). Diagonal slices of French bread with deepfried crust are crispy but the bread itself isn’t puffed up. The Maple syrup is just enough for two slices of toast. More tanned moojuice. Does nobody take the coffee in a café au lait seriously?

Sunday: Did I imagine the breakfast of the week would be at Wee Tara, an Irish pub in Scarborough,  the ONLY place in town where they serve a great UK fry-up, Sundays at l0 am.? Geraldine is our soup jockey and she says “If you don’t clean up your plate…” Right. The plate is rations for a transatlantic voyage. Two slices of peameal bacon, two real bangers, a slice of black pudding, a slice of sausage meat, baked beans,  fried eggs, potato scones, soda bread lightly fried, a grilled tomato. ($7.95) We’re off to the races. Even the Java meets the diner aesthetic. ***Total satisfaction.

Senator Restaurant,249 Victoria St. 416-364-7517
OverEasy 208 Bloor St. W 416-922-2345
Pain Perdu 736 St. Clair W. 416-656 7246
1088 Bathurst St 647 436 0666
Annona, Hyatt Regency 416-925 1234
Cajun Corner, 920 Queen St E 416-703 4477
Joy Bistro 884 Queen St. E 416-465 8855 $16
Wee Tara,2609 Eglinton Ave
Scarborough, 416 264 2723